Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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