R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
