Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
