i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
