no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
