chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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