you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm just crazy horny about you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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