honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
