I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
