My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
