I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
