Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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