Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't deserve a penis
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize