Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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