if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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