Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
