4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think your dad took our porno
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
