we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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