you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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