I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
