Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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