do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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