i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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