U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
