so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I am one with the molecules
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
