Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
