i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you never un-have a 4some
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
