I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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