Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
