He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
