you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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