Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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