I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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