their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
