I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
