Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
