The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
