Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
