Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
