I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
honey bunches of taint.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need moral support for this bender
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
