it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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