im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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