This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
