Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
