So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
