how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
