Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
