Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
