do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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