YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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