Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
