New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
