I'm going to jail i love you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize