I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
