I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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