direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
