I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
