google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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