If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize