what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
