I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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