You work out of a Hotel?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
