Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
