just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
