That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
