I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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