More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
