just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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