She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Everclear isn't food dammit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I pour the whiskey from now on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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