this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
