I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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