you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
