Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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