Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
